Grandma.

As you know, my Gma has alzheimers.
She forgets what she's eaten minutes (sometimes seconds) after eating it and insists she's still hungry after eating 5 bananas (I actually think the record is 7, but don't quote me on that).
Her quest for food can be quite humorous sometimes.
The other day she was asking for some food so I reached into the freezer and handed her a TV dinner. Of course I'd have made it for her, but I wanted to see what she would do. So she said, "turn on the oven!"
I thought that was great. Sadly, the oven would take 40 minutes and I don't think she'd be willing to wait that long. Instead, I showed her how to get it out of the package and pointed to the microwave. Grandma took it out of the package and put it in all by herself! The door was too "heavy" for her to close, though, so I did it for her and started it up.
Once it was cooking she just shrugged and said, "that's the last I'll say of that." And went to her room.
Perhaps she just wanted to stretch out her culinary legs and never intended to eat the meal?
Either way, you'll be happy to know that she successfully ate her TV dinner after I had to go call her for lunch from her room.

Just this morning I got her some coffee and oatmeal (hazelnut latte oatmeal, I've never heard of it before but it sounded alright). I was sitting at the kitchen bar on my dad's laptop and watched the following commence:
Grandma stood, walked around the kitchen island, then sat again. I think she forgot she had oatmeal still in her bowl, she rarely leaves the table with food in her dish..
She finally finished the oatmeal and walked to the counter where a mixing bowl was sitting and reached her hand in to see if anything was there.
She circled back around to the table then finally went to the mixing bowl with her empty bowl and ladled air into it.. I was quite amazed at all this.
She went back to the table and lifted her empty spoon to her mouth and discovered there was nothing.
Finally, I decided I might as well get her something else to eat. I'm about to get up when I realize she took her bowl to the coffee pot. "No!" I yell (You must understand Grandma has good hearing days and bad hearing days. The good ones she can hear a shout like that. The bad ones I have to resort to sign language and caveman drawings). She pauses but then continues to reach for the coffee. I dash over and say no again, to which she snaps: "Then YOU do it!"
Of course I'm not going to pour her a bowl of coffee. Silly grandma. So I told her that if she was going to have an attitude she could go to her room.
The funny part was, instead of arguing as I expected, she said, "fine, I'll go to my room."
I thought to myself, "oi, as if I didn't have enough teenagers to deal with."
Grandma does remind me of a teenager sometimes, she certainly can eat like one.
So she went to her room and hasn't come out since. Probably wallowing in teenagerish thoughts.
No, not really. The poor dear more than likely forgot the whole fiasco the minute she walked into her room.
Well, it's nearly lunch time so she'll have that to look forward to. Not to worry, I'll feed her something a little more substantial than air. Though, you've got to admit, fresh air is crucial to a well-balanced diet.

She did something most hilarious the other day.
You see I was left alone with Grandma and one of the teenagers while everyone else ran off to do whatever. (I love holding up in my room, writing and such, only to emerge and find the house mostly empty). So I decided to seize the opportunity and mop the kitchen. Meanwhile Grandma hadn't had her dinner yet so I fed her while I went about cleaning. So she was sitting in the middle of the empty dining area in the only chair left while I was sweeping. The other boys walked in in the midst of my cleaning and I, being myself, acted like some crazy person and was poking the broom at them like a savage. Nick had some sort of unfinished chore (like I remember what it was) that I was telling him he must complete before the midnight that night (Nick doesn't like chores, you see).
As I was saying this I was pretending the broom was a fighting staff, and he was holding up his fists to block any feeble attempts I might try at looking cool. (We do strange things like this often).
But the best part was Grandma, who was watching the whole thing, spoke up, "there should be no fighting here." We both turned our heads towards her then laughed. It was great. Good to know she can keep the peace if ever a fight were to break out.