Guardians of Evergreen

At nearly 9 o'clock in the morning on Veteran's day, November 11th, 2011, my Grandmother passed away. She was getting pretty bad the night before so we figured it would be happening any time. Tina and I stayed up and read the Bible to her. My mother sang hymns for a while that day, as well.
I'll spare the details on how we figured she was going to go soon, but I can say that it was one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life; To watch someone slowly lose grip of life, to fade away and, eventually, give over to death. Tina and I didn't want to go to bed. I, for one, didn't feel like sleeping, I didn't want the day to end. We stayed awake and played Star Wars Episode 1 Monopoly. Tina beat me. Good advice: Get the railroads (podracers) and the red properties--you'll smash them.

Finally, it was 4 am and we felt it was time to slumber. I got ready for bed then checked on Grandma one last time. Something I learned from her was that she always said thank-you. Whether it be for me giving her a shower and tucking her in, or giving her something to eat or drink. Something not many people really know about me (but my family notice) is that I don't tend to say, "you're welcome." very often, it's usually a, "uh-huh." or "mm-hmm". I do try to say you're welcome when I think to but the other responses are what usually fly out of my mouth. Anyways, I went to Grandma and said, "you're welcome." Then goodbye and I love you and went to bed at 4:30 in the morning.
About four and a half hours later I heard my dad, downstairs, say, "Grandma's gone."

And, so, that was it. She was gone. I had spent the past few days crying my eyes out over her so when she finally passed it was kind of a calm feeling. Still, all day yesterday I was so dazed I wasn't sure what to do with myself. We've had Grandma in this house for the past four and a half years, and then she was suddenly gone. I kept thinking, "I have to go check on Grandma", "I should feed Grandma", "I need to put Grandma to bed". I'd be in the kitchen and walk past her hall and think, briefly, that there was something that needed to be done with her, be it feeding her, bathing her or putting her to bed, there was almost always something that had to be done with Grandma at any given moment. But, no more. No more Grandma.

Today was a little better, just a little. But you know what made it good? Snow. Snow is one of my most favorite things in the world. Every year it comes, if it doesn't come enough, I'm disappointed; if it leaves too soon, I'm unhappy; If it piles up to the heavens, I'm blissful; If it snows all day long, I am content. Last night I went to bed at 2 am and it was snowing when I did. I woke up at about three inches and then it started snowing this evening. Five inches so far! Words couldn't express my delight. In a small way, it's a comfort to me. It's a little piece of happiness that keeps a smile on my heart.

I stepped outside tonight and watched the frosty snow drift onto the front yard and, beyond, the large pine trees stood tall, covered in snow. I love our pine trees, they are giant, majestic creatures that watch over our home. Guardians of evergreen which will always be there. They are so large and awesome, so very perfect. God's creation surrounds me out here in my piece of the world, it says, "be still and know that I am God." And how awesome a God He is.